First, just cause I’m a dick and this is going to stick in your head all day long:

Ooh my little lumpy one, lumpy one
I hope you gonna go away some time seroma
Ooh you really grow on me, grow on me.
Always seem to fillin’ up my seroma.

Right under the cut, gettin’ huge
Even after gettin’ drained, on my hip,
Really don’t want to go away.
My my my i yi woo
My my my my seroma.

(With many, many apologies The Knack and thanks to Cynthia!)

– = –

Now that I killed that sone for you I’ll continue on.

From yesterday’s post you know I had it drained and 28cc of fluid came out of it. It was all good and non lumpy. The doctor told me to keep it iced and put a weight on it.

I did. I kept it iced all day long and tried to apply pressure as well. Somehow whatever I was doing was insufficient and by the night it had regained most of it’s volume. Not good.

En brought over some therapy weights that she had before we went to sleep and I just put them on my hip letting gravity do it’s thing. There was perhaps six or seven pounds of weight bearing down on the lump. This of course only works while I’m on my back since it’s in an awkward spot on my hip. (It’s on the part of my hip above the crease on my thigh)

Upon waking up I realized the lump was smaller. This was the first time that it changed size in the direction I wanted it to.

But I didn’t want to lay on my back the entire time I’m waiting for this damn thing to go away.

This has turned from a medical problem into an engineering problem. I figure that the weights were applying some force to the seroma. I’m estimating around 30 newtons of force spread over perhaps 200cm^2. All I have to do is replicate that. The question is how.

Yesterday, in addition to the Aleve that the doctor recommended we also picked up some bandages. The problem was that there would be no way for me to wrap it in a way that it would apply pressure to the right spot.

That is until I saw the Altoids tin.

With the Altoids tin strapped under the bandages I was able to selectively apply pressure to exactly the lump. Ever since it’s been on the lump has been getting smaller and smaller!

As it turns out I independently re-invented a pressure dressing for myself. :-) I was careful to spread out the bandages to ensure low pressure everywhere but the Altoids tin. Under the tin itself I’m guessing the pressure level from the weights has been more-or-less replicated. Additionally the flat bottom of the tin and the radiused corners ensure that there are no points with exceedingly high pressure.

I’ve been wearing this all day and I’ve not had any problems at all and it’s not uncomfortable. I think engineering has prevailed!