Life is full of options.

Are you ready for them?

Constraints go in both directions though. Sometimes you constrain life. Sometimes life constrains you.

Life constraining you is the external. Things like short term money limit what you can and can’t do. Constraints are placed on you by biology: you have a certain gender (ok, that can be changed, but most folks don’t want to), you can’t really change how tall you are, your upbringing shaped you. All sorts of things that can limit your options.

You can also constrain life though. If you’re not open to options as they happen, you could miss out on all sorts of things. If you’re holding out for the “perfect” person to marry, well, you’ll likely miss out on everything that could be better than the checkboxes you’ve laid out for yourself. If you wait for the perfect job, you might never grow to find what you really love to do.

Of course you could also accept and internalize the constraints that society specify. This is an especially insidious version. You think you have constraints that are completely invented. Like who you can love. Like who you should hate. All sorts of problems. That’s a choice remember — you can choose to not accept those external constraints.

You can be underconstrained as well though. If you take the first thing that comes your way… well, you’ll likely not be happy either.

The key, like in almost anything, is balance.