I will deliver a world-class customer experience to every customer, every time, earning loyal customers for life. If at any time you have a suggestion on how we can improve our service or process, please contact my manager _____ ____ at [email protected]

That was the signature like of one the folks we were dealing with at Bank of America. Yes, it was bold and red just like that.

Yes, I’ve redacted the name for now. When the note clears I will be publishing an open letter to various folks around the BofA org chart. I’ll probably leave in a few names.

The thing is making that your signature on your email doesn’t make it so. The service we were given was certainly in a class of its own, but it’s not a class you would want to strive for.

She did get one thing right: “every time.” The consistency we got from her was amazing. It was consistently horrible.

And every interaction had this signature.

I do have to say that I have made some opinions that will be staying with me “for life,” like the sig says. It has trained me, through a month of hell, that Bank of America is an organization to avoid at all costs.

I’m grateful for her boss’s email address. Ennie had to start CC-ing him on every email to even get a response at the end of the infernal process.

The point here is that marketing can only go so far. It doesn’t matter that the company might be awesome in every way except the orgs we were dealing with. The truth is that the behavior of every individual reflects on the company as a whole. In our case we had two of these individuals who did nothing but make the company look like it was being managed my a pack of chimpanzees with diarrhea.

Oh, the poo that can be flung.

And we had to look at that damn sig file every time she could be bothered enough to even send us an email reminding us how it could be.

– = –

On the plus side, I’ve heard we might actually get the loan through. But it’s through a sheer force of will that was even possible.