Someone I know is in the grasp of such an affliction.

She’s married to someone the average Joe would consider a douchebag. (Source: checked with Joe)

From a control perspective she has it bad. Epic Douchebag (ED from here in — perhaps a fitting shortening) has figured out a way of keeping her from the rest of her family. Not just that, but ED forced her to cut off ties from most of her immediate family.

Oh… and they have kids.


My guess is she has what can only be construed as something like a Stockholm Syndrome at this point.

Once you limit the range of someone to only you and get them reliant on only you you’ve got them at your bidding. If they leave ED they’re screwed. If they stay with ED they’re still screwed, but at least you’ve convinced them that it’s less screwed.

Choosing between really bad and fucking bad is not the idea of a good trade-off.

– = –

I freely admit that I’m not perfect. No human is — it’s part of the notion of “human.”

I know that I try mightily to not be douchebag. I fail sometimes sure. I think I’ve not made it to “epic” status.

– = –

I’m in the situation of trying to figure out how to help. I’m a fixer — I try to make things better.

How do I help?